The Pity Party Part of Me

Well I had to admit it sometime. I like to feel sorry for myself. It is a really comforting feeling to feel sad for yourself (especially when nobody else does!). Occasionally (and I have to admit, more infrequently now) I take some time for myself to be really utterly miserable. I need it. In my case misery does not love company, but loves to be completely alone and completely desperately depressed. Misery loves to eat, cry and eat some more. The more tissues I can get through the better. Usually I go through my 'basket case'. This basket is filled with things that make me miserable, such as all Riley's treasured possessions, photo albums, toys and letters sent to me after his death. I find them excruciatingly sad and bask in the melancholy feelings. I put on my saddest films, like Beaches, Steel Magnolias and Fried Green Tomatoes. I listen to all the music from my son's Funeral and eat chips and lolly snakes and ice-cream. Sometimes I smoke half a packet of cigarettes. It is miserable bliss. It keeps me 'normal' for a little while longer, gets all the disgusting thoughts about myself out until the next time. MMMMmm, something to look forward to you think!!